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From the full version of Sunnyside's Lousy Book

My Take on Gun Safety

When you take possession of a gun; you should always consider the facts. Guns are known to go off accidentally from time to time. When I was in 7th grade a kid lost his left hand because his little brother played around with his dad's shotgun. I felt sorry for Glen. Not only for loosing his hand -- but to be stuck with the guy who did it -- his brother. I admire the fact that they still loved each other afterwards, but then you have to realize; what the hell was Glen doing letting his little brother playing with a shot gun for anyway? Loaded or not. I guess if I was Glen, I’d have to think I was just as responsible.
      The last time I saw Glen was at Ocean Shores, during the Fog Festival. He was drunk and obnoxious and constantly trying to get into fights. With all his weight behind his stub, Glen knew people would be afraid of him so he used it to torment people. I felt sorry for him. I can only hope his life has risen above that point in time.
      This kind of shit is real. It’s not like the movies. You can't go back and make a new movie if you don’t like the outcome. When a gun goes off; it's done and over with. There’s no backing up time. You pull that trigger. You’re in serious territory. The law is going to be on your ass and there is going to be some explaining to do. To be a person who likes to party with all these simulates they have today. I don't think you want to be the one who is out of control.

One time I was sitting in a night club in Aberdeen Washington, (Drinking Coffee) with a .40 Caliber on my side; a fight broke out. I just sat there observing the mess. I noticed a guy trying to be right next to the fight as if he was some kind of guardian. He had his hand on top of his fold out hunting knife while it was still in the pouch fastened to his belt. He seemed anxious to use it. It scared me to have to wonder what the guy would be like if he had a gun. (I'd say a little too trigger happy with a drink in his hand.)
      To be honest with you, I find it difficult to believe I could knife anyone. I guess it would have to be my only defense because I couldn't gore myself out. I'm the kind of person who needs a red button. I just want to stop any guy from trying to make his day at my expense.

I used to go to jam sessions in Auburn at The Palace night club. It was located right across the street from the City Hall and the police station and its jail. It was so close; the police squad cars parked on the side of the road could be seen from the front door of the night club. However; the back exit door to the parking lot behind the club was a place the one might be a worried about running into some unwanted trouble.
      One night, a guy stopped by The Palace for a drink on his walk home from the grocery store. When the guy left, he found himself faced with a guy holding a knife. The bags of groceries were the things that the asshole with a knife thought was worth cutting out an eye for. He scared the guys face for life. You can bet there was one who wishes he had a red button.
      Can you believe I used to walk in and out of the front and back of this place wearing a $300.oo Brooks leather biker jacket and a bass that's worth something around $1,500.oo to $2,000.oo? Yeah, leave the gun in my truck so I could walk out to discover a guy has just broken into my truck and using my gun to rob me. No; not me. The purpose of the gun is to make it to the truck without having to be afraid of some demon possessed asshole. The way I look at it is that a gun is much faster than dialing 911.

One night Ramjet and his roommate decided to get a keg of beer for the gathering they had going on at their apartment and couple of the guys went down to the tavern to pick up the keg. While they were there, they ran into this short and stocky Bar Fly guy and his buddy. Since Bar Fly and his crony somehow knew the guys who were picking up the keg, they inquired where the party was going to be. Weather they were actually invited to the party by Ramjet’s roommate or not, (I don’t think he even went to get the keg,) Bar Fly and his cronies found their way to the party.
      There were a few of us standing around in the kitchen and someone noticed a knife setting on the counter. It had a white powder residue left on it. Apparently someone had used it to chop up some kenebinal. When the person who discovered it mentioned it, Ramjet said in return, “You could cut yourself with it and you’d probably get high.” Bar Fly reached for the knife, picking it up and said to Ramjet, “You want me to cut you with it?”
      Ramjet said, “Go ahead, it’s your own high.”
      Bar Fly took him seriously as if it was an invitation and turned towards Ramjet as if he was going to make good on it. Someone else made a remark meant to distract Bar Fly so that Ramjet could slip way from the scene, but since it was Ram’s little fun remarks that kicked the Bar Fly off, Ram stepped in and did his best at trying to talk the guy down even when the Bar Fly took on interest in another possible victim. Bar Fly turned back at Ramjet and acted like he was going after Ram with a knife. Ramjet backed off and headed off towards his bedroom. Bar Fly took off behind him following Ram into his bedroom and slammed the door behind him.
      Though Ram had been known to be quite fearless, he was more afraid then he had ever been before. When Fly took swing at Ram with the knife. We heard a large “BOOM” from the walls of the apartment. Ramjet did his best side-kick and it was Fly who had bounced of the wall.
      The door swung open and Ramjet came striding through the doorway with the front of his shirt hanging down. There was about a foot long red line slashed across the side of his stomach. As Ram headed towards the front door down the short hallway, Bar Fly appeared at the doorway behind Ram with the knife in his grip. Everybody in the apartment was yelling, “PUT THE KNIFE DOWN!” As Fly turned to follow Ram – he tossed the knife down to the floor. Ram must have heard the knife bounce off the wall and looked back as he reached for the door. Fly walked into a blazing set of punches. Ramjet pulverized Fly’s face. Bar Fly’s face was a mess and it was a sure sign of defeat. Everyone could tell Fly had had his senses knocked loose by the way he looked when he walked out in disgrace.
      Apparently this Fly dude had a history of messing with innocent people. The list was long with serious injuries. The victim before Ram was trapped inside a bathtub by Bar Fly as Fly beat him up with a pipe.
      We knew that Fly would want to get revenge and find reason to drop back by for some more trouble. Since one our friend’s dad owned a gun shop, there was easily a spare shot gun to be had. It was only a single shot, but it was just what we needed to leave lying on the floor of the front room in the apartment. Since Ram’s roommate sold weed from time to time, there would always be people stopping by to hang out with a few beers.
      Sure enough, some of Bar Fly’s buddies stopped by to scope out the place and the shotgun seemed to detour any retaliation from Fly and his gang. After a week or two, enough water had gone under the bridge for Ram and his roommate to think it was safe to give the shotgun back to its owner.
      Unfortunately we were wrong, because Bar Fly and some of his buddies dropped by. They busted in the door front door without even knocking. They were looking Ram, but he wasn’t even there. Ram and his girlfriend and another couple were at the drive-in. A girl who was sitting on the couch was startled and began to panic. I tried to remain calm because I was Ramjet’s best friend and I didn’t want to draw any attention to myself. When the girl on the couch started to scream, the scrawniest guy in the Fly gang jumped on top of her, pinning her down across the couch and began slapping her around a bit. The only guy who had the guts to go to the girl’s rescue was Stoner. He was too stoned to go to anyone’s defense and a bigger Thug jumped him. The Thug pinned Stoner down in a corner and kicked at the back of Stoner’s head with the heel his boot.
      This is about the time I was stupid enough to think I had the guts to jump to help Stoner. Being Ram’s buddy; the thugs were looking for as much as a flinch out of me and I didn’t get any further than a verbal defense because as I made the first move to get out of the arm-chair, another thug jumped on top of me -- pinning me into the chair. The Thug took several swings at me, but I just curled up into a ball and wrapped my arms around my head shielding the blows. I think I got about five lumps on the back of my head, but I think the guy did more harm to his hands than he did to me.
      I can’t say so much for Stoner; he had to get fifteen stitches in the back of the head.
      The Thugs went out to the parking lot and got into an argument with the apartment manager. They threw a large stone through the rear window of the manager’s car and miss their baby by inches.
      Where is a gun when you need one?
      Ramjet had always been more or less a tough guy. I always thought it was because he grew up with out a father, but when it came to having bad guys like Fly after him – he bailed. That is he took off for Arizona. He went to live with his uncle where he was promised a job with him. The next time I met up with Ram was several years later, he’d married and had two kids, (boys) and was living in a small two signal light town near Provo Utah. He liked it there, but when the economy went bad there, the local steel shop where he worked shut down and that’s when he found his way back to Tacoma.

There have been other times in my life when a gun has controlled the situation and no one got hurt. But I’m a mature person and I know the responsibility that comes with possessing a gun. However; my advice to most people and mostly to kids: Alcohol and weapons of any kind don't mix. I've seen it over and over again. But if people didn't have guns, the crazy bastards with knifes would be popping up all over the place.
      Kids, look at your situation. You are nobody real important. You’re not rich. You're of no value to have dead to anybody. The odds of someone wanting you dead are pretty slim. The need to defend ones’ self is always there though. Get some pepper spray and keep it on your key ring or something. You never know when the element of surprise can come in handy. Tell me how many bad guys do you see walking around with gas masks? At least you won't ever have to worry about backing up the movie. Party on; you don't have to be so responsible without a gun.

However; if you are one of those responsible people who carry a gun: A good hint is never put a hallow point bullet as the first round in your gun. Remember the fact that guns do go off accidentally.
      I've known a few people who have shot themselves and none of them have ever tried for the second round. If you’re going to shoot yourself, it would be much better to have a bullet go through you than to have it rip every thing out along the way.
      I'll bet the surgeons will like these few lines because it could make their jobs a little easier. Believe me, with diseases like aids around, they're not going to be too picky about how much shrapnel they leave inside you. You give them a round point bullet, the surgeons are more likely to make you the laugh of their day.

Think about it; most of the cheaper guns just jam up with hollow points anyway. If you ever practice shooting your gun; round points are the cheapest and usually happen to be your freshest. Those expensive high tech hollow points have been sitting around, how long? Don't you think having a little less stopping power on the first shot is worth a fresh one?

If you're going to buy your lady a gun, you may want to get her a .380 because even with hallow point bullets, there is only about a 65% chance of the bullet mushrooming -- ripping you a new asshole. A .380 is loud and powerful enough to jump in her hands to where she’ll probably freak out and be afraid of shooting herself before filling you ass with a second one.
      Also if your wife is gonna shoot you with your own 45, you might be wishing you bought a 40 because neither one of you would have any hearing left with a 45.

If everybody thought the same way I bet it would make more difference than if the government spending your money on lawyer to make the gun manufactures sell you guns that are no safer when fired accidentally. In my opinion, those safer guns just have with more things to go wrong. Like brakes on a vehicle; I just want the hydraulic type, no ABS bullshit because when I want to stop -- I want to be one doing the stopping.

I want a gun I can pick up out of the mud and still have it fire properly. I want a gun that I can pick up in the dark and not need a dam flashlight for the dam combination. I don’t want to have to find my keys either. I just want to be one click away from a red button.

About April 26, 1999:
      Lookie here, something I found in the USA Today news paper about conceal guns. I don't want to type the whole thing but it is worth reading if you can dig one up. An assistant principal Joel Myrick saved the lives of students in a Miss. high school. Although they lost two kids, some jerks try to say he shouldn't have had a gun in the school, but there are students alive today who are glad he did.
      In a cafeteria in Texas, back in 1991; the parents of Dr. Suzanna Hupp were gunned down as Suzanna was of no help to them because she had left her gun in the car.
      In 96 a study by the University of Chicago Law School, they analyzed crime data from the US over 15 years. They found that violent crimes fell after states made it legal to carry concealed weapons. It reduced their murder rate by 8.5%, Rapes by 5%, aggravated assaults by 7% and robberies by 3%.
      In 97 the Justus Department study found that as many as 1.5 million people use a gun in self defense every year. Other studies have found as many as 2.5 million self-defense uses, with a savings to society of up to $ 38.9 billion annually.
      Wonder where they got the last statistic? As Sergeant Bolster said, “Statistics are just made up.”
      However, I would say these statistics are most likely true.

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