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From the full version of Sunnysides Lousy Book.


Funny Water

When I arrived back at my trailer, I unlocked the door with my spare key. I stepped inside and grabbed the bottle of water I had left sitting on the filing cabinet just inside the door. As I took a drink I heard the red headed girl next door say, "He took a drink!"
   Even though the water was an expensive brand, it had the stale plastic taste I had tasted before. I walked over to the sink and spit out the tainted water. Incidentally the experience answered the question of why I had felt so strange at times prior to that day. It was blatantly obvious somebody had been putting some kind of drug in my drinking water. I realized it was the reason I had a filling in a tooth fall out in the previous weeks. With this backing my theory, I was convinced the drug was some kind of methamphetamine. It also gave me a theory on just how it may have got there.
    Things tend to point to Richard as being involved or at least knowing the drug was being put into my drinking water. Reason being, the peculiar thing about Richard was that one day within the week or two prior, he asked for a drink of water while we,(Dave, Richard, and I,) were hanging out in my trailer smoking a bowl. I was going to pour him a glass of bottled drinking water, but he mentioned the bottle had been opened and firmly requested water from the facet. Another suspicious thing was -- though he claimed to have been a crank addict in the past, he insisted he wasn't into it at the present time -- he was complaining about a real bad tooth ache. At the same time I was complaining about the fact that all my teeth ached. Prior to that time, I'd only experienced one or two aching tooth at any given time throughout my life and it seemed quite unusual for me to experience having all my teeth ache simultaneously. Something tells me that because he was a frequent visitor, there is a good chance Richard was used to put the drugs into my water supply and very well pinching a little to use himself – or as I said, he was well aware of my drinking water being tainted.
    Backing my suspicion about Richard as a possible suspect is the fact that within weeks before I ended up in jail, he and another so called friend mine Dave, were pulled over for drunk driving. This happened on their way back from a liquor store and just shortly after they had bought some weed from me. Dave got the crazy idea to try to out run the cop. After being chased for a mile or two from 74th and I-5, they ended up in my neighborhood and then on my block. Dave bailed out of the van without parking it and the van smashed into a fence a couple houses down and across the street from mine.
     I was disappointed and embarrassed because I don't think it impressed my neighbors very much, that is, with the kind of friends I was keeping. Being the passenger, Richard took off running. I even heard the loud bang which he claimed was him as he ran into metal shed while making his getaway. He claimed he was never caught, but I know Dave was apprehended only two blocks away in front of the house where he lived. I was told he was beat up by the cops in front of his own kids.
       Dave was driving without a driver’s license because he had been in trouble before and most resent for drunk driving. It was the reason Dave's boss had hired Richard to drive Dave around while Dave managed roofing crews on various jobs. In the past Dave had been on house arrest with an ankle surveillance device through a work release program. Although he was no longer on the program, I figured he was certainly in for the long haul this time around, and chances are that he was still on probation.
      Since his brother James had skipped bail on his parents in the past, Dave knew they wouldn't bail him out, so he called me from jail to see if I would bail him out. Since I had been that route with his younger brother Tubby -- I said wasn't about to get involved. Stupid Rule Number 67: Been there done that. A few years earlier I had Tubby working for me. After a while he saved up enough money to rent an apartment so he and his girlfriend could move out of Dave's garage.        In the process of moving into the apartment, a cop spotted Tubby's car full of stuff and decided to pull him over. He was arrested for outstanding warrants and not having a driver’s license. The warrants were for failing to appear for past court dates. Just for the favor of bailing him out, Tubby offered to work for a whole month for free. I didn't want to take advantage of him, so all I did was deduct half of his pay each week for payments on the $400 I had to give up for his bail. Thanks to me, Tubby only had to spend about three weeks in jail instead of the seven months the court system would have kept him in jail waiting for the different court appearances.
      Later I was notified by the bond company that he skipped bail because didn't appear at his last court date. I knew where he was living so I told the bail bond company where he could be found. Get this: The bail bond company called his girlfriend at their home and warned her that they were dropping by to pick him up. Of course Tubby split the scene. He hid out at another place in the small town of Roy. Then I got a call from Tubby telling me how much his girlfriend and her child depended on him. He said he wanted to kick my ass for turning him in.
      Since I didn't appreciate his threat too much, I called the bonding company and let them know I didn't appreciate the way they handled the situation. I told them that their failure to apprehend him properly resulted in Tubby threatening me. I told the bond company that by running him off with their phone call, it resulted in putting me in place of judgement of whether I might have to defend myself. I said, since I packed a gun, it became a serious matter because of the consequences that could result from the situation.
     They not only put my life in danger, but they, needlessly put his in life danger as well. Later his brother James told me that Tubby had been picked up by the bail bonds company because the guy he was staying with suspected Tubby was fooling around with his girlfriend. The story James gave me was that the jealous guy turned Tubby in. I also learned later that Tubby’s so-called important family life had come to an end. Therefore I'm sure you can understand why I wasn't going to get involved in bailing Dave out.

I was surprised to see Dave out as soon as he was. Since he had been in serious trouble before for drunk driving, I suspect the local government stepped in and let him off if he played along with the conspiracy. I figure the city either misinformed my buddies that they would be better off if I didn't get any patents on my inventions. To participate in the game of making it difficult to for me to get the patents I'm entitled to, or as you might say it was most likely a modified snitch on your supplier and we'll go easy on you type of plea bargain deal. I realize now they were most likely paid by the conspirators to score as much weed as they could from me in an effort to get me to purchase more from Steve each time I could score. It would explain why my buddies were going through as much pot as they were. I even tried to discourage them from smoking so much because James, Richard, and Dave were each going through about an eighth ounce per day. I realized that they must have been smoking it with the guys they work with, but I still couldn't understand how they could afford to be spending so much money on it. I wasn't even worried if the neighbors would see us sitting around outside smoking a bowl together because I suspected there was a good chance the neighbours had already figured out I was dealing pot because the gang was coming and going all the time.

With the everyday disruptions, I wasn't getting as much work done on my truck as I wanted to, so I decided to sell only half ounces as a way to cut down on the traffic. I ended up getting more done and I was hopping things would look less suspicious as to me dealing.
    After Dave got out of jail, he would seldom come around any-more. Dave began either sending Richard or in most cases he sent his girlfriend to pick up the pot. I don't think my so-called buddies knew what the city's goal really was. I'm sure the game didn't help them out too much in the long run. The proof of the matter is that here we are, fifteen years later, we're still playing games and I don't see any of my buddies driving the truck.

During the first day I got out of jail, the first visitor I had was Dave's girlfriend. I told her that there had been drugs put in my water and I had found myself sitting in jail over the weekend. I offered her a taste of one of the water jugs I had laying around and understandably, with a peculiar look on her face; she refused to taste the water. Soon I received a visit from Dave, Richard and later from James too. I even got a call from Rodney.
      Everybody acted as though everything was normal, but Rodney was the only one that wasn't interested in what I had gone through over the weekend. Rodney even called to ask me to bring some pot by. I'm sure Rodney already knew about the weekend in jail and was just calling so I wouldn't suspect he had anything to do with it. Now it's easy to figure out why the time span of which I could score pot from Steve got longer over time. The duration went because he couldn't get it any more frequent than that, but I think I know better now. That is: because if I was able to score pot once every week, I would have only bought one ounce at a time. The city knew that if I could score pot once every week, I would never possess more than forty grams and in that case the city would have only been able to get me on a misdemeanour. The longer duration of time for me being able to score pot was an effort to make sure I would possess a felony amount of pot. It was just a matter of when and how they wanted to nab me with the larger amount. They knew I had scored that week, because as I arrived at home with the six ounces in my guitar case, I heard the girl next door tell others that I must have just scored. I would say the city wanted make sure they could get me with at least a quarter pound so they could say it was with intent to sell. It’s the reason for the set-up bomb scare and chasing me around. No doubt their goal was to catch me with it in my truck so they could impound it otherwise they would have just popped me at any time earlier at home. The reason they never popped me with only four or five ounces earlier – on the way home right after scoring it from Steve -- was that they didn’t want me to think they knew who Steve was.

Another strange thing happened while I was in jail. A five foot spray pole wand was missing from my back yard. This led me to believe that a painter must have been in my back yard, because most people wouldn't even know the value of it -- but a painter would. The peculiar thing about it was: Although I was a painter, I didn't hang out with any painters and by that time I had decided to always work alone. Conclusion: I didn't have had any painters over as visitors what so ever. Not ah one. Zip.

The next chapter of Sunnyside's Lousy Book is:
Did they do a switch ah-rue?

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